20

I am not my father. Though I search for him through the shadows of my past and in the cracks of my mannerisms. I have no memory; being gently swayed on comforting knees; raspberry kisses to my stomach; gleaming smile and slowed wink.

He emerges like Merlin, as soothsayer of wisdom drawn from muddy walls, well water and the thatched hunger of drive and ambition.

A requested encore 20 years on still bears the distance. Who will look to me 20 years after I am gone and still smell the lingering of cologne that will become my trademark in my later years, as I cling to familiar things? His time seems closer to me now than the time I remembered as I live within the same air.

You see nothing but the swelling wave, as you paddle hoping you’ll find the green room fearing of it eating you alive.

'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says

Address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

This is one of my favourite poems:

Almost without noticing
Without Thinking, it seems,
You've arrived where you see far
Thirty years back, more, the path vanishes
And you're forced to sit down in your shadow
To think
Memory
Mother of truth and myth,
Tell how the terrain divided the stream.

‘I can’t remember who wrote it…. saw it on the tube.’

Amsterdam and Brussels

My little European adventure over the bank holiday weekend was so much fun and now I’ve got the blues. It wasn’t that the holiday flew past; in fact it was probably the best-paced short break I’ve ever had – everyday seemed to go just smooth enough. But back to the real world.

Amsterdam is a great city, and I’m in love with trams. The sun was out pretty much the entire time, which makes any trip so much more palatable. We did the usual things, staying at a friend of a friend’s place in Brussels. So thank you.

Went to probably one of the best restaurant experiences of my life at a place called the supper club in Amsterdam…. awesome fun.

Ok. That’s my holiday diary, sent no postcards, bought only Belgian chocolates for my little sis, but they’re looking rather tempting right about now – so not sure if they’re make the week. Life’s good complicated when the sun’s out.